GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
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we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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