420 ftw
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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