I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
