so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
