i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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