She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.