I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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