I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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