I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
