tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
