you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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