i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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