Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
