She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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