she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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