He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she peed on how many people?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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