I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
