I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
