Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize