Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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