Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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