just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just found puke in my bra..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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