Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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