she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
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gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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