My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
