somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
