i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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