Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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