Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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