i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize