I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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