But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize