Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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