things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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