This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She announced her abortion via fbk
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
