Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
