i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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