Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
