so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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