just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
