big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
