i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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