You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
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Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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