She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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