k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
