It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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