Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
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Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
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My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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