it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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