currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
