God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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