If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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