doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
