Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize