i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
