omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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