either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
