Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
