If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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