Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize