you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
