Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
