i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The air taste purple.
Randomize
