my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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