He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
