Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
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Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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