i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.