i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.