Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.