We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.