Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
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Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
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A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.